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They say that excessive use of profanities is a sign of a limited vocabulary. I think that's true because when I speak Spanish I swear an awful lot. After all, when I need a word "Joder" ("Fuck") is just at the tip of my tongue. But in my defense and in the defense of other foreigners speaking a language other than their native one, just because I sound like an idiot when I talk doesn't mean that I am one. I mean, I am a highly educated adult that… well… just has a limited vocabulary. Joder! This often times is very humbling, especially when speaking with children. Whenever I am in a situation when I have to talk to a Spanish child my pulse quickens, my palms turn sweaty and my neurons stop firing. Just think, all this happens only by seeing the big round eyes and bouncing curls of a little girl holding a toy. And why? They are just too hard to understand! It's their high pitched and squeaky voices that throw me. A typical scenario goes like this: A little girl who looks so innocent and sweet fast approaches me. She's zeroing in on her target, her prey. She gets closer and my pulse grows quicker. Then she goes for the kill and she asks me in Spanish, "What time is it?" in her seemingly falsetto but innocent high octave voice. By this time I am a mess and I have no clue whether she just told me the name of her doll or told me to piss off. I mean I know that "¿Qué hora es?" means, "What time is it?" But it's different when it comes out squeaky and inaudible from the small mouth of a child. I turn red and fumble for words and she stares at me incredulously. What was wrong with me? I am an adult and I can't talk? What's my problem? Just about this time her mother sees her talking to a stranger and hurries over to rush her away. At this point the little girl continues to give me a boggled look as her mother who is scornfully staring at me as if I were a pervert or child kidnapper is pushing her in the opposite direction. They then turn their backs to me and walk farther away. It finally dawns on me what she is asking and I yell out to them, "It's three! It's three!" They pause for just a moment and then walk on. I am left jumping up and down holding up three fingers and everyone is staring at me. It's a humbling experience and all because of the girl with the bouncy curls. This whole language issue also came to play when we bought an apartment in Barcelona. Let me repeat it again… just because my Spanish vocabulary is limited doesn't mean that I am an idiot! Joder! Everyone kept telling us what a great investment buying real estate in Barcelona was. We got caught up in the frenzy and decided to ride the wave of real estate speculation. We found the place and started the process of negotiating the price, obtaining a mortgage and interfacing with the lawyers. Then the next thing we knew all of our Spanish friends suddenly became experts in Spanish real estate buying and had ample advice to give us. "You need a lawyer." "Don't trust a lawyer." "Negotiate the mortgage rate." "That's a good price for an apartment." "Are you kidding? You're paying way too much." People! We are not idiots; we just have a limited vocabulary! My husband and I have a good understanding of what's out there and how much it costs! We have even been homeowners in the past! I just ended up selectively listening to this advice, especially the advice given by those friends that still lived at home, after all, how many of them have ever paid a mortgage? True, buying in Spain still had all the pain and suffering that always goes with purchasing property. This is a cross-cultural truism. Yet, out of the whole ordeal I learned a whole new set of vocabulary. I now know how to say words like "appraisal", "load bearing wall", and "variable interest rate". I don't really know where I am going to use those words outside of the realm of the real estate word. No, I'll just tuck them away in the off chance that a little girl with bouncing curls approaches me and asks me in her high pitched tone, "Do you have a fixed or variable rate mortgage?" I'll be ready this time! |
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