 |
I'm convinced, there are two types of guests; the ones that you love to have and those that just sort-of show up on your doorstep and make your living spaces seems REALLY small. There seems to be no in-between. Let's stay positive, let's start with the good guests, the ones that are a pleasure to have. These are the ones that are basically self-sufficient. They're fun, they bring you great gifts, like expensive wine and they take you out to dinner. We've had a few of these since we've moved to Barcelona. It's great, the wine takes effect, we talk and talk and talk and we are excited to show them around. They make you feel proud of where you live and they help remind you what an exciting life it is to live in Europe. You can relive adventures again and again through a fresh set of eyes because all is new to them, all is beautiful and all is just one great adventure. Then there are the ones that show up and sit around like a lump on a log. Being the "Social Mother Theresa" I am, I feel so responsible for their happiness and I'll go out of my way to make sure they have fond memories of their vacation. We live in a very small apartment that is about one fourth of the size of where we lived in the US so any additional people to the apartment is noticeable, there are no "guest wings" to our humble living quarters. I remember when I was growing up how mad my mom would get when my dad would freely invited anyone and everyone to stay with us. My dad would say, "Oh, it's just another potato in the pot." He would come home at the end of the day when the food was waiting on the table and then have a pleasant chat over wine and a delicious meal with them and learned how their day went. Meanwhile my mom was stuck shuttling them around, getting their room ready and all the "behind-the-scenes" work that goes with guests. I remember we once had this really creepy French woman stay with us and nobody wanted to get near her because she had greasy hair and smelled. We fought over who had to give up their bedroom and have her sleep in their bed. We had another one stay with us for an entire year, but she was more of an exchange student and she became one of the family. Actually, she became such a part of the family that she even borrowed clothes… only it was more out of necessity than to be one of the gang. You see, she had gained so much weight with the American diet and the enormous portions that she had to borrow my mother's maternity clothes. That was then and this is now. It's not just a potato in the pot because we eat out almost every meal and, well, my husband is a bit more of a "today's man" and can't get away with such a thing. We recently had a guy just show up at out house. Yes, just show up unannounced. One day he's not there and the next day he's sitting on your sofa, eating your food and not planning on moving until you give him a specific date that he has to leave. That last part is the worst, I hate conflict and I see that as the epitome of conflict. But my husband is undaunted; he will ask these types of guests their intentions and then give them a date they have to be gone. Sure, it sounds rather brutal, but these are the guests that you need to be direct with. And I have an email sitting in my in-box as I write this that I don't want to open. It's a woman I worked with two jobs ago who somehow found out through the grapevine that we live in Spain and decide to rekindle the limited friendship we had about 8 years ago. Meaning, she's coming to Spain and wants a free place to stay. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the good kind of guests and I actually wish more friends and family would visit. There were months that nobody visited us and, frankly, I was getting seriously worried... maybe we weren't as well liked as we thought. What's wrong with us? But then I thought about it and there are many deterrents, especially for people who don't travel much. First, you have to figure out the whole phone thing and call us. This scares people from the US because there are international codes, time changes, etc. (No, hardly anybody calls us.) Then there's the whole passport thing. And then the cost: imagine the price tag to bring a family of four to Europe?! Once they're here they have to deal with a language barrier and the different money. (My father in-law once called it "jibber" and "funny money".) So, it isn't exactly popping over to Orlando to visit Disney World. I wish there could be a filter and only the people we wanted to visit could get through this grueling process. As it is, these steps are very democratic and only the ones with the will and tenacity get through and sometimes these aren't the ones we want. Like I would LOVE to have my in-laws come, but they have to build up the courage for the big trip. Our next step is to frankly charge the people we don't want to come and give the money to a "scholarship fund" for those that we're dying to see. We need to make it a little less democratic and then I'll maybe consider cooking potatoes.
|
|